Yes, it is a(nother) compilation of joke about the -almighty- Chuck Norris. Enjoy.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
If woman dares to look at Chuck Norris, she will give birth within an hour.
Chuck Norris Doesnt do Push-ups he pushes the earth down.
Chuck norris doesn't dodge bullets.. bullets dodge him.
Chuck Norris can kick a milk carton and a cow dies half way around the world.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
When tax time comes around, Chuck Norris leaves his forms blank.. but sends a picture of himself in attack position.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now "The Islands".
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300 without a ball. He wasn’t even in a bowling alley.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris CAN touch that.
Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him, how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don’t fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement, and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
There is no such thing as Tornadoes, Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
For Chuck Norris, every street is "One Way". HIS WAY.
Chuck Norris’s dick is so big, it has it’s own dick. And that dick is still bigger than yours.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it won’t take shit from anybody.
Some people wear Superman pijamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Fact: Chuck Norris doesn’t consider it sex if the woman survives.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every first day of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. (Di Indonesia namanya Krating Daeng *Ed.*)
On the 7th day, God rested.. Chuck Norris took over.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: The light side, The dark side, and Chuck Norris.
A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
When Chuck Norris’ wife needs a turkey on thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don’t worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he might be just trying to tell you that he likes your hat.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he make sure Chuck Norris isn’t under his bed.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion, now Neo is "The Two"
Chuck Norris knows where Santa is.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
Chuck Norris is what Bruce Willis was talking about.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has two dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Eventually.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist, and the bear proceeded to eat itself. Because it would be the less painful way to die.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow -the fuck- down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. And got one.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning. That the spot belongs to Chuck Norris, and you will be handicapped if you park there.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches.. and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris won "Jumanji" without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited itself.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
If you turn China upside down, there is a sticker that says "Made By Chuck Norris”.
Chuck Norris gave that smile to Mona Lisa.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete
A hand sanitizers product claims that they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever -the fuck- he wants
Chuck Norris supposed to die ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper just didn’t have the courage to tell him.
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